Building Belonging

At our February NYC LMC District meeting, we’re discussing the Belonging phase of The Journey Map. In this first phase on the map, individuals and groups on a spiritual journey begin the process of connecting to each other and evaluating the place they may have in each other’s lives.

Have you ever been an outsider trying to fit into a new group? I have. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how hard it can be fitting in and how long it can take to really feel like you belong. Belonging is essential to discipleship in two ways:

• A disciple, by definition, belongs to Jesus (Jn 17:9-10). If you don’t you’re not a disciple (Rom 8:9).
• A disciple is called to follow Jesus with a community, and needs to feel they belong there (Jn 13:35).

There are two main positions in the Belonging phase:

Belonging can be built in large-group experiences when we tell stories that connect to people and explore revelation together that creates real value. But belonging is dependent on proxemics — cultural limits on connectedness based group size — and most of the work of belonging is done in groups smaller than 8. That doesn’t mean that you have to stop everything to do small groups in order to increase belonging. You can build this into many things you’re already doing by:

• Disciple your people in skills of being a good and spiritual friend as a path to making disciples.
• Identify, recognize, and train leaders of natural affinity groups and invest in them so they encourage others in belonging practices.
• Add belonging practices to the life of specific ministry teams and those they serve outside of serving times.

The Two Paths To Belonging

My experience has shown that there are two paths of self-conception that people walk in the Land of Belonging. These are two separate ways that people think of themselves and two distinct sets of felt-needs from the Gospel and Gospel community:

Evangelical churches have been, traditionally, strong in the Inward Path, while mainline churches have been strong in the Outward Path. When both are present and belong in the church, you get a truly dynamic community with both compassion and capacity for mission.

Resources Shared on the Call

• Pastor Nes shared: John Mark Comer’s Practicing the Way — a journey into apprenticeship with Jesus. This 8 week course (and a variety of other resources and experiences) are designed for churches and small groups to explore discipleship with Jesus that combines deep encounter with Scripture with immediate and transformative action.
• Dr Tiffany shared: The Spirit-Empowered Discipleship Assessment (PDF) is an in-depth and powerful tool to evaluate your discipleship to Jesus and discipleship practices in the lives of others. Use it as an individual, with a staff, or in a group to get a 360 degree view of your disciple-making.
• Pastor Tee shared: Davis, Graham, and Burge’s The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why Are They Going, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back? The book uses a very similar framework of Belonging, Believing, and Behavior as a progression of development and engagement and outlines where the church has failed in each area and strategies to correct the issues. (Incidentally, one of the NIH studies of faith groups listed below uses this same framework.)
• Ben mentioned: Matt Markins of Awana has completed nine comprehensive major studies of the 18,000 churches and 5 million participants in their Bible clubs worldwide to answer the question of what leads to resilient faith in kids. Their research has led them to a similar framework of Belong, Believe, Become and three key practices for child discipleship. Watch an interview for more.
• Ben mentioned: Katie Hage’s thesis Belong, Become, Believe: A New Model for Children’s Ministry Building toward a Holistic Vision of Discipleship and Diversity in Multi-Ethnic Children’s Ministry (PDF) explores how to incorporate issues of justice and anti-racism into the discipleship process of multi-ethnic gospel community in her work using the Belong, Become, Believe framework.

Some Additional Research on Belonging:

Belonging isn’t just an issue for discipleship and church. It’s a basic human need, necessary for health, mental well-being, and successful living.

• Brian J Grim , Melissa E Grim “Belief, Behavior, and Belonging: How Faith is Indispensable in Preventing and Recovering from Substance Abuse” National Library of Medicine, NIH. 7/29/2019.
• Neal Krause, Elena Bastida, “Church-Based Social Relationships, Belonging, and Health Among Older Mexican Americans” National Library of Medicine, NIH. 6/1/12.
• [PODCAST] “A Crisis of Belonging: Social psychologist Geoff Cohen discusses ways we can nurture belonging as educators, parents, and citizens.” Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2/3/23. Related video.

Key factors in belonging: